breaking news: Britney Spears owns a fucking washing machine
is anyone actually allowed to look this celestial, I don’t understand
this person looks like they straight up descended from the heavens on a cloud of tastefully subdued knitwear
Wonder Woman will not stand for your shaming bullshit
DON’T EVEN FUCKING TALK TO ME ABOUT THE LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA
FUCK NOW I’M UPSET
Oh yeah, that tome of history compiled by a Mesopotamian priest on the History of the World, supposedly spanning back 40,000 years of history?
Fucking gone. Gone forever.
OHHH DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED
WHAT I WOULDN’T GIVE…
a fairytale were a young girl is kidnapped and forced to marry a demon king and instead of being like no! never! shes like fine as long as i get to help you destroy and hes like lol cool but soon shes doing a bit too much and her husband king is like okay enough power and shes like bye see you in the dungeon and hes like what and hes dragged away cause now everyone is more loyal to her and she reigns over the underworld and the surface world with a cold iron fist
“I still love you” is the saddest fucking sentence in the whole world
ummmm p sure “the guac costs extra” is actually sadder
"your credit card has been declined"
"we are out of alcohol"
i hate small talk
tell me about how lonely you are or tell me about why you keep waking up in the morning or talk to me about your mum’s eyes and your dad’s laugh. I don’t care about the weather and you don’t care about how my job’s going.
if we just met and u try and tell me how lonely you are i will turn 180 degrees and walk away
When I read that Lucy Liu played the accordion, I was like “yeah right!” But then I found these pictures and the following anecdote:
Greg Germann, who plays [Richard] Fish, Liu’s love interest on [Ally McBeal], is an accordion aficionado as well, so he was surprised to learn of his co-star’s interest. “What are the chances of that?” he says. “Then we found out we both study with the same teacher, Milton Mann, this incredible octogenarian who only has three or four students. Occasionally, we take our accordions down to her dressing room and play. It’s me trying to keep up with her — that’s generally how it goes.” [x]
I feel like I’ve fallen down into this strange and oddly hilarious rabbit hole.
there’s a rumor going around my school that a girl in choir got suspended for fingering herself in class uh
ur school wins